From: Lingerie Blog by Petite Coquette
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
One of those days
You ever have one of those days, the day that is going like Hell, and all you can think about is, please, please let it end so I can go home, slip into a pretty chemise, pour a glass of wine, and sit on the couch under a blanket and read a book?
Yes, I'm having one of those days!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uugh.
Emily
I doubt I'll ever post a picture of Emily, she is a tad more private than I am, and I've not even posted any of me. However, for the curious, she looks about like this. Tall (5'10"), skinny, leggy, dirty blond. That's pretty much her hair type, too.
Her best features? Her legs, by far, followed closely by her wonderful rear. She's not the most busty of women, but, as I heard someone say, breasts are for babies, legs are for men (or sissies, as the case may be.)
So, if you're into that type, she's that type she is. I am luckily into many different types, so it isn't just her body I lust for (and oh how I lust for it), but it is her wonderful mind, too.
Haute Shots
Stacie posted from shots of Mrs. E. Lovely, as usual.
Boudoir Photography Las Vegas | Glamour Photography Las Vegas | Bridal Boudoir Las Vegas By Stacie
Peace
I'm happy to report that we did kiss and make up. Eventually. Not without some cost to me, though, which I deserved.
Contrasts
I wore a three button, vested suit to work today. I have several vested suits and always get compliments when I wear them for how handsome I look.
Naturally, my friends, associates, and colleagues at the office who complimented me this morning have no idea that under my suit I'm wearing this pretty new open bottom girdle from Secrets in Lace along with 100% nylon stockings.
All day, every step I take, every motion, I feel the slight tug of the girdle on my stockings, a small, subtle reminder that no matter how masculine I may look at first glance, underneath, I'm also quite feminine.
Naturally, my friends, associates, and colleagues at the office who complimented me this morning have no idea that under my suit I'm wearing this pretty new open bottom girdle from Secrets in Lace along with 100% nylon stockings.
All day, every step I take, every motion, I feel the slight tug of the girdle on my stockings, a small, subtle reminder that no matter how masculine I may look at first glance, underneath, I'm also quite feminine.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Bad
Emily was a little miffed with me this morning and there is a fair chance I'm going to be punished when I get home.
Which, of course, will lead to kissing and making up.
Friday, September 25, 2009
evening
I'm making emily dinner tonight at my place. I also have several bottles of wine. We'll be like this way before midnight :)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Submission
This is how a girl like me loves to be. On her knees, in front her her mistress, her lover, worshiping, submitting.
The Things That Excite Me
From: The Things That Excite Me
What excites me?
1. Her lovely lingerie. Obviously the sissy part of me, the Sara part, the feminine part really loves that ensemble, really loves the stockings. I want to wear that.
2. Her. She's lovely. I'd spend hours licking every inch of her.
Yes, I recognize that it was the desire for her lingerie, that came first.
What excites me?
1. Her lovely lingerie. Obviously the sissy part of me, the Sara part, the feminine part really loves that ensemble, really loves the stockings. I want to wear that.
2. Her. She's lovely. I'd spend hours licking every inch of her.
Yes, I recognize that it was the desire for her lingerie, that came first.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Post Evan
I've gotten some complaint that I've left everyone in the dark about what happened last weekend when Emily's friend Evan came to visit and stayed with her.
I apologize, but to some extent, I have not written in because I'm still not sure what happened.
Yes, he came for the weekend. Yes, he stayed with Emily. Yes, they went out to dinner on Friday night, as well as out to a club on Saturday night. Yes, she wore the white babydoll on Friday.
But...I don't know what, if anything, happened.
Sunday afternoon I was sitting on my couch in a satin cami and tap panty set and a matching robe, at my place, drinking a glass of wine, reading the Sunday Times, when I heard a key in the lock.
"Emily," I said, surprised when she walked in the door.
"Hello my pretty girl," she smiled, closing the door behind her. "Still in your jamies, I see?"
"I," I looked down, "I didn't expect to hear from you till later."
"Well, Evan and I had late lunch, we slept in and he just left, so I thought I'd come over and see if Sara was behaving."
"Why wouldn't I be behaving," I asked.
"Well, sometimes a girl misbehaves," she chuckled. Em walked across the floor, her heels clacking on the hard wood, sat down in a leather club chair opposite me. She crossed her legs and I watched her black skirt ride up her thigh, exposing the pink welts of her stockings.
"You...you look nice," I said, unable to pull my eyes away from her nylon clad legs.
"Thank you. I thought you'd like. Everyone else seemed to, also."
"Everyone else?"
"The old man at the table next to us at lunch, the waiter...Evan."
I looked away, felt my face flush.
"That's what you've fantasized about all weekend, haven't you?"
I looked down at the floor.
"Haven't you, Sara?"
"Yes."
"Come here," she said softly.
I stoop up, still not looking her in the eye, walked towards her, stood awkwardly in front of her. She nodded her head, with her eyes, indicated that I should kneel or sit in front of her, sit at her feet, at her throne.
"Isn't this what you fantasize about, Sara? Isn't this the dark things you write about in your stories, on your blog?"
I didn't answer, why should I? She knew. Emily moved her foot forward, until the top of her foot was under me, hovering, lightly pressing on the front of my panties, pressing into the swelling.
"You KNOW I've read that story you wrote, A Change in our Marriage. That's your fantasy, I know."
I closed my eyes, felt her foot massaging me, the erection in the tap panties.
"Evan really did love the white babydoll I wore Friday night after dinner."
A small gasp escaped my lips. I couldn't help it.
Emily laughed. "I know what you fell asleep dreaming about, Sara, but I didn't do that, I didn't fuck him. He wanted to, but I didn't. I made him stop."
I exhaled loudly, relief actually washed over me.
"Oh, I was a little naughty, but we didn't go that far...I forget what happens at second base, third base and all that, which one's under the shirt, which one's in the pants...or panties."
"Emily," I was breathing so fast I thought I might pass out.
"I want you, Sara."
I looked up, in her eyes, the hunger.
"I don't want a man right now, I want you."
She had me, right there, in the living room. Then later, in the bedroom.
I'm not exactly sure what they did, what was fantasy and teasing, what was real. I only know that the hours we spent touching each other Sunday afternoon and evening were some of the best, most intimate sex we've every had.
Randomness
"So, your chart states that you've been having some problems in the bedroom, correct? Don't worry, dear, we know just how to treat sissies like you here at the Clinic."
Ahh, the purrrfect pet.
I LOVE blindfolds (even one that is really just for play.)
From: A few of my favorites things...
Ahh, the purrrfect pet.
I LOVE blindfolds (even one that is really just for play.)
From: A few of my favorites things...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Admissions
Emily and I were sitting on the couch, enjoying each other and a glass of wine, talking about a friend of hers and her relationship (her friend is a lesbian). We were mostly discussing the relationship issues, her friend is having issues with her girlfriend.
Emily reminded me of something we had discussed a few weeks back. "Remember how I said women are prettier than men?"
"Sure," I answered. That discussion had been something along the lines of her saying, "I'm heterosexual, but women's bodies are so much prettier and attractive then men's bodies." That got us on to the topic of why she's so attracted to me.
Our conclusion, at least physically, was that Emily found women to be beautiful, but sexually, was heterosexual.
Anyway, she asked me about her friend, Michelle. "Well, I was thinking, while I find women prettier and more attractive, I would not want to go down on a woman. I don't think a cock is that attractive, when you think of it, but that's what I want. I think a woman's vagina, her whole body, is better."
"Okay."
"Well, is it like that for Michelle? Does a cock give her the creeps?"
"Wait," I asked, "you think women are prettier than men?"
"Yes."
"And you think a vagina is prettier than a cock?"
"God, yes."
"But you'd rather suck cock than eat pussy?"
"I..." She hesitated. "I suppose, though I've really never thought of it that way. I...no, I don't think I'd want to lick a woman...at least her pussy, anyway."
"Her body?"
"Well, to be honest, I suppose yes, not that I have. Isn't that kind of like being with you? Making love like a woman, though you don't have a vagina, you have a penis."
"I guess."
"What about you? Is it the same for you? Do you think men or women are more attractive?"
"Women," I answered, instantly.
"What about men?"
"What about them?"
"Are they attractive to you?"
"In general, no."
"But..."
"Well, I suppose some are."
Is that the case? Do I find some men attractive? Yes.
"Do you think a vagina is prettier than a cock," she asked, a smug smile on her face.
"A vagina."
She laughed. "You sure have no problems with mine, do you?" Of course not, licking her was probably my absolute favorite thing to do.
I just frowned at her.
"See, I don't think that's a turn on at all; I don't fantasize about licking another woman's pussy, though I'm sure you think that would be hot, right?"
"Yes," I admitted softly.
"What about sucking a cock?"
I blushed. "You know I fantasize about you..."
"No, no, Sara," she sat up. "You're right, I know that. I mean, do cocks disgust you, or do you ever think about, you know..."
I swallowed. "Touching one myself?"
She nodded.
"Yes," I said, looking away.
"Especially when you're Sara?"
"Yes," I said again.
"Hmmm," Emily cooed, stroking my thigh. "Well, I suppose it is only fair that if you fantasize about me with a woman that I can fantasize about Sara sucking a cock, can't I?"
Emily reminded me of something we had discussed a few weeks back. "Remember how I said women are prettier than men?"
"Sure," I answered. That discussion had been something along the lines of her saying, "I'm heterosexual, but women's bodies are so much prettier and attractive then men's bodies." That got us on to the topic of why she's so attracted to me.
Our conclusion, at least physically, was that Emily found women to be beautiful, but sexually, was heterosexual.
Anyway, she asked me about her friend, Michelle. "Well, I was thinking, while I find women prettier and more attractive, I would not want to go down on a woman. I don't think a cock is that attractive, when you think of it, but that's what I want. I think a woman's vagina, her whole body, is better."
"Okay."
"Well, is it like that for Michelle? Does a cock give her the creeps?"
"Wait," I asked, "you think women are prettier than men?"
"Yes."
"And you think a vagina is prettier than a cock?"
"God, yes."
"But you'd rather suck cock than eat pussy?"
"I..." She hesitated. "I suppose, though I've really never thought of it that way. I...no, I don't think I'd want to lick a woman...at least her pussy, anyway."
"Her body?"
"Well, to be honest, I suppose yes, not that I have. Isn't that kind of like being with you? Making love like a woman, though you don't have a vagina, you have a penis."
"I guess."
"What about you? Is it the same for you? Do you think men or women are more attractive?"
"Women," I answered, instantly.
"What about men?"
"What about them?"
"Are they attractive to you?"
"In general, no."
"But..."
"Well, I suppose some are."
Is that the case? Do I find some men attractive? Yes.
"Do you think a vagina is prettier than a cock," she asked, a smug smile on her face.
"A vagina."
She laughed. "You sure have no problems with mine, do you?" Of course not, licking her was probably my absolute favorite thing to do.
I just frowned at her.
"See, I don't think that's a turn on at all; I don't fantasize about licking another woman's pussy, though I'm sure you think that would be hot, right?"
"Yes," I admitted softly.
"What about sucking a cock?"
I blushed. "You know I fantasize about you..."
"No, no, Sara," she sat up. "You're right, I know that. I mean, do cocks disgust you, or do you ever think about, you know..."
I swallowed. "Touching one myself?"
She nodded.
"Yes," I said, looking away.
"Especially when you're Sara?"
"Yes," I said again.
"Hmmm," Emily cooed, stroking my thigh. "Well, I suppose it is only fair that if you fantasize about me with a woman that I can fantasize about Sara sucking a cock, can't I?"
Friday, September 18, 2009
Kisses
Emily just texted me the following:
"You know, Evan is such a great kisser."
I responded. "You telling me from past experience or cause he kissed you tonight?"
Emily, "Let your imagine wander, lover."
"You know, Evan is such a great kisser."
I responded. "You telling me from past experience or cause he kissed you tonight?"
Emily, "Let your imagine wander, lover."
White
Text from Emily:
"I think Evan likes the white babydoll!"
Me: "You showed it to him or put it on?"
Em: "Put it on, silly."
Me: "Emily!"
Em: "You know you like that! We R just sitting here talking, so I'll call u later."
Me: "K...behave?"
Em: "Ha! Another glass of wine or two I may let him kiss me!"
Undergarments
This is going to be a long night...I don't know if I'll keep updating...or if I can make myself. I may just have to put the computer away, stop surfing, and watch a movie or something.
Em's text:
"Putting on that white and pink garter belt u like...should have had u help dress me :)"
That would be this garter belt from secrets in lace. We both have it in a couple of colors.
I'm picturing her in it...she's fucking beautiful!
I responded. "I'm sure you're quite stunning."
"Wish I had a pretty lady's maid helping me get ready for my date."
"What time is Evan getting there?"
"He said at seven; can't wait."
I was sure Evan could not wait either. Part of me knows...just knows she would NEVER do anything without talking to me. Part of me knows she is taunting me, teasing me, knowing that's just what I want.
BUT...
Part of me knows she slept with him in the past, before me, that's he's tasted her before, touched her before, been inside her before, and I know, KNOW like any guy, would love to fuck her again.
Em's text:
"Putting on that white and pink garter belt u like...should have had u help dress me :)"
That would be this garter belt from secrets in lace. We both have it in a couple of colors.
I'm picturing her in it...she's fucking beautiful!I responded. "I'm sure you're quite stunning."
"Wish I had a pretty lady's maid helping me get ready for my date."
"What time is Evan getting there?"
"He said at seven; can't wait."
I was sure Evan could not wait either. Part of me knows...just knows she would NEVER do anything without talking to me. Part of me knows she is taunting me, teasing me, knowing that's just what I want.
BUT...
Part of me knows she slept with him in the past, before me, that's he's tasted her before, touched her before, been inside her before, and I know, KNOW like any guy, would love to fuck her again.
Shower
"Just about to get in shower, saw the scented body wash you got. U R such a dove!"
Em texted me again. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
The body wash she is referring to is the bottle of Sensual Amber body wash I bought and left for her in her shower.
Clothing
Text Emily just sent me:
"When you get home from work tonight and change out of your suit and tie, I don't want you wearing another piece of boy clothing all weekend, sweetie."
Weekend 2
Where did Em go on the way home from the office? That question was answered when she walked in the door at about 8:30, a Victoria's Secret bag in her hands.
"Something for me," I asked her, already feeling a twitch.
"Sara needs more lingerie," she laughed. "I know, neither of us can ever have too much. But no, to answer your question, I got some things for me. I can't very well be walking around naked in front of Evan, can I?"
"No," I answered, twitching again, feeling a murmur of excitement run through me.
"Want to see what I got," she asked, eyes twinkling.
"I...I suppose," I said, not entirely sure if that was true, but also knowing there was no way I was not going to let her show me.
She sat down in a chair opposite me, opened the bag, took out a small bundle wrapped in tissue paper, unwrapped it, held out this set:
"Oh," I gasped in surprise.
"What, don't you like it?"
"No, no, I do...it...it's cute." It was, and in reality, nothing more than shorts and a tank, an outfit Em practically lived in during the summer, in or out of the house. Honestly, I thought she'd buy something sexier, something more...taunting. I looked at the bag, too big for just one outfit. "Did you get it in other colors, too?"
"Hmmm? Oh, no, I...I just picked up a couple of other things, too."
"Oh, I thought you were just buying things for the weekend."
"No, I did, I thought about looking for something to wear for you, too, but I ran out of time, so I just got stuff for the weekend. I'll get something for you, well, something for both of us, probably, next week."
She wrapped the set back up in tissue paper, put it in the bag, stood up. "Did you pick up sushi for dinner?"
"Yes," I answered, a pout on my face.
"What," she asked.
"Can't I see what else you bought," I asked, the stirring continuing in my panties.
"I just picked up a couple of things to lay around in in the morning or evening this weekend that were on sale" she said, taking another step towards the bedroom, bag in hand as if she had no intention of showing them to me.
"More pajama sets?"
"Huh? Oh, no, the tank and shorts were full price, in fact, none of the pajama sets were on sale, so I only got the one."
"Oh, what'd you get then?"
She looked down at the ground, almost ashamed. "Well, babydolls were on sale, so, well, I picked up a couple."
To lay around in on Saturday and Sunday morning or evening.
When I was at my place.
When Evan was here.
"I can show you if you want," she said, quietly, almost helpfully, encouraging.
She walked over to me, sat down next to me, took the first wrapped package that she'd already shown me out of the bag, then removed two more tissue paper wrapped bundles.
"Well, first, this one was on sale for twenty something, and I loved the lace bodice, so..."
I gulped. Holy shit.
"And, well, I really like this one," she said, opening the other package, holding this up:
My eyes, already wide from the first, widened even more at the site of the sheer white babydoll.
"That's to lay around in when Evan's here," I asked, both jealousy and excitement flowing through me at the same time.
"Yea, why," she asked innocently. "Don't you like it?"
"It...it's kind of, um, revealing, isn't it?" Kind of? Like totally inappropriate!
"Honey," she smiled with her, 'I always get what I want' smile, "it's just going to be Evan and me, it's not like I'm going to wear this hosting a party."
My tongue was between my lips, where I had had it clamped, trying to use the sharp pain to forget the swelling I was experiencing in my panties.
"That's what excites you, right, Sara? The mental picture of me wearing something so pretty around a man when he's here this weekend? That's the fantasy, isn't it, Sara?"
"Yes," I managed to mumble, sure my face was red enough that she must see it.
"Isn't that what you'll go to sleep dreaming about? Me, sitting here on the couch next to Evan, wearing this, talking. Wondering if he's going to reach over and touch my skin through the sheer fabric?"
"Emily," I gasped, starting to pant.
"I'm going to wear this tomorrow night, lover, that's what you want, isn't it?"
Yes. Yes! YES!
"Something for me," I asked her, already feeling a twitch.
"Sara needs more lingerie," she laughed. "I know, neither of us can ever have too much. But no, to answer your question, I got some things for me. I can't very well be walking around naked in front of Evan, can I?"
"No," I answered, twitching again, feeling a murmur of excitement run through me.
"Want to see what I got," she asked, eyes twinkling.
"I...I suppose," I said, not entirely sure if that was true, but also knowing there was no way I was not going to let her show me.
She sat down in a chair opposite me, opened the bag, took out a small bundle wrapped in tissue paper, unwrapped it, held out this set:
"Oh," I gasped in surprise."What, don't you like it?"
"No, no, I do...it...it's cute." It was, and in reality, nothing more than shorts and a tank, an outfit Em practically lived in during the summer, in or out of the house. Honestly, I thought she'd buy something sexier, something more...taunting. I looked at the bag, too big for just one outfit. "Did you get it in other colors, too?"
"Hmmm? Oh, no, I...I just picked up a couple of other things, too."
"Oh, I thought you were just buying things for the weekend."
"No, I did, I thought about looking for something to wear for you, too, but I ran out of time, so I just got stuff for the weekend. I'll get something for you, well, something for both of us, probably, next week."
She wrapped the set back up in tissue paper, put it in the bag, stood up. "Did you pick up sushi for dinner?"
"Yes," I answered, a pout on my face.
"What," she asked.
"Can't I see what else you bought," I asked, the stirring continuing in my panties.
"I just picked up a couple of things to lay around in in the morning or evening this weekend that were on sale" she said, taking another step towards the bedroom, bag in hand as if she had no intention of showing them to me.
"More pajama sets?"
"Huh? Oh, no, the tank and shorts were full price, in fact, none of the pajama sets were on sale, so I only got the one."
"Oh, what'd you get then?"
She looked down at the ground, almost ashamed. "Well, babydolls were on sale, so, well, I picked up a couple."
To lay around in on Saturday and Sunday morning or evening.
When I was at my place.
When Evan was here.
"I can show you if you want," she said, quietly, almost helpfully, encouraging.
She walked over to me, sat down next to me, took the first wrapped package that she'd already shown me out of the bag, then removed two more tissue paper wrapped bundles.
"Well, first, this one was on sale for twenty something, and I loved the lace bodice, so..."
I gulped. Holy shit.
"And, well, I really like this one," she said, opening the other package, holding this up:
My eyes, already wide from the first, widened even more at the site of the sheer white babydoll.
"That's to lay around in when Evan's here," I asked, both jealousy and excitement flowing through me at the same time.
"Yea, why," she asked innocently. "Don't you like it?"
"It...it's kind of, um, revealing, isn't it?" Kind of? Like totally inappropriate!
"Honey," she smiled with her, 'I always get what I want' smile, "it's just going to be Evan and me, it's not like I'm going to wear this hosting a party."
My tongue was between my lips, where I had had it clamped, trying to use the sharp pain to forget the swelling I was experiencing in my panties.
"That's what excites you, right, Sara? The mental picture of me wearing something so pretty around a man when he's here this weekend? That's the fantasy, isn't it, Sara?"
"Yes," I managed to mumble, sure my face was red enough that she must see it.
"Isn't that what you'll go to sleep dreaming about? Me, sitting here on the couch next to Evan, wearing this, talking. Wondering if he's going to reach over and touch my skin through the sheer fabric?"
"Emily," I gasped, starting to pant.
"I'm going to wear this tomorrow night, lover, that's what you want, isn't it?"
Yes. Yes! YES!
Weekend
Yesterday afternoon, Em called me to tell me that she'd be a little late getting to her place, where we were to have dinner and where I was spending the night.
"Will you do something for me, sweetie," she asked.
"Sure, what?"
"Will you run the vacuum, dust...oh...and change the sheets on my bed?"
"Of course, Em. Um, you want me to change the sheets in the guest room, too," I asked her, thinking of course of Even, her friend who was spending the weekend.
"The guest room," she asked, sounding surprised. "Oh, you mean," she chuckled. "Sure, hon, why don't you change the sheets in the guest room, too."
Why would the guest room sheets need to be changed? So Evan could sleep there. Why wouldn't it matter to her (or at least, why would she pretend it didn't matter)? Because he wasn't going to sleep there, he was going to be in her bed.
She teases me, oh, how she teases me. Letting her know about my fantasies was the stupidest thing I ever did. The best, too.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Marc Jacobs Spring 2010 Collection
It is New York Fashion Week (yes, I'm behind...work, darlings, work.)
I was looking at some things today, flipped through Marc Jacobs Spring Collection. I was not impressed
I have a few comments:
1. Um, darling, your bra...[hushed voice]...your bra is on the outside. Quick, quick, scurry back and fix, please.
2. Maybe this is part of the new Green Economy we hear so much about.
3. Cute. If you have the legs (I do), I approve. One of the few nice things I'm going to have to say about Mr. Jacobs.
4. Oh, dear god. Are all of your models strung out. Darlings, darlings, bras give lift and support to the breasts, hence, they are worn under your blouse/shirt/dress. Sigh.
5. Sheer pants. Cute. Unwearable in any situation except the bedroom or the runway, but still cute.
6. What. Are. On. Her. Legs???????????
7. Scissors. Now. Please, someone did not cut off the excess fringe! I'm not even commenting on that corset like fabric wrapped around her bosom.
8. Ahh, the figure flattering...um...what did they call this in the 70's? Quick, someone ask Florance Henderson!
9. Her bra, luckily, is under her top. However, she forgot to put on her skirt or pants.
10. At some point I'm wondering who is into Gilbert and Sullivan and decided to go with makeup from the Mikado?
11. I have nothing to say about this peach ensemble. Not because I love it, but because I do not know where to start.
12. YOUR. BRA. GOES. UNDER. YOUR. TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pst. so do your panties.)
13. I love, I mean, LOVE that coat. I want it. I may give a first born child for it. However, God of all that is holy, please, please, PLEASE do not make me wear those leggings.
14. I'm sorry, the 80's called, want their fanny pack back.
15. Last seen appearing in the Fifth Element with Bruce Willis
16. What's the SNL joke? More cowbell? Hey, I know, more ruffles!!!!!!!!!
17. I may just allow Marc Jacobs to have babies with me just so I can have every coat he designs. That's all I'd want. The coats, for me, the rest, keep. No, really, please keep.
I was looking at some things today, flipped through Marc Jacobs Spring Collection. I was not impressed
I have a few comments:
1. Um, darling, your bra...[hushed voice]...your bra is on the outside. Quick, quick, scurry back and fix, please.
2. Maybe this is part of the new Green Economy we hear so much about.
3. Cute. If you have the legs (I do), I approve. One of the few nice things I'm going to have to say about Mr. Jacobs.
4. Oh, dear god. Are all of your models strung out. Darlings, darlings, bras give lift and support to the breasts, hence, they are worn under your blouse/shirt/dress. Sigh.
5. Sheer pants. Cute. Unwearable in any situation except the bedroom or the runway, but still cute.
6. What. Are. On. Her. Legs???????????
7. Scissors. Now. Please, someone did not cut off the excess fringe! I'm not even commenting on that corset like fabric wrapped around her bosom.
8. Ahh, the figure flattering...um...what did they call this in the 70's? Quick, someone ask Florance Henderson!
9. Her bra, luckily, is under her top. However, she forgot to put on her skirt or pants.
10. At some point I'm wondering who is into Gilbert and Sullivan and decided to go with makeup from the Mikado?
11. I have nothing to say about this peach ensemble. Not because I love it, but because I do not know where to start.
12. YOUR. BRA. GOES. UNDER. YOUR. TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pst. so do your panties.)
13. I love, I mean, LOVE that coat. I want it. I may give a first born child for it. However, God of all that is holy, please, please, PLEASE do not make me wear those leggings. 
14. I'm sorry, the 80's called, want their fanny pack back.
15. Last seen appearing in the Fifth Element with Bruce Willis
16. What's the SNL joke? More cowbell? Hey, I know, more ruffles!!!!!!!!!
17. I may just allow Marc Jacobs to have babies with me just so I can have every coat he designs. That's all I'd want. The coats, for me, the rest, keep. No, really, please keep.
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