Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Questions


How long have you thought about it? Days? Months? Years? Decades, even?

When was the first time the forbidden image entered your mind, the first moment you imagined a man inside you?

How did you react, to the realization that fantasizing about a man entering you was thrilling, seductive, sexy, fascinating, titillating?

Have you been confused, all these years, wondering why, when you find women so attractive, when the thought, the reality, of fucking a woman is such a turn on, the vision of a man taking you is something you've masturbated to time and time again.

"But I'm not gay."

Of course you're not. Neither am I.

But still, you think about it, don't you?

Don't lie. Don't lie to me. More importantly, don't lie to yourself.

You still think about dressing up for a man, doing your best to be as feminine as possible, as feminine as he is masculine.

You fall asleep dreaming about it.

You wake up thinking about it.

I know.

Because, as much as I love her, as much as I want to be with her, I dream of the same thing.

I fantasize about the lingerie I'm going to wear.

I dream about the disparity of power, he, so masculine, me, so feminine.

I think about it because I know, I understand, that this is the only way I can be as feminine as I can be.

What will it be like, that first time, beneath him, feeling his taut skin, his muscles, his strength, his body, his power.

What will it feel like, physically, emotionally, when he presses against you, pushes into you, opening you, filling you, for the first time, making you feel and be, a woman.




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